Care in the community

I’ve not had a job for a while, so I'd thought fill the time by helping some of my elderly neighbours - doing the hovering and general tidying up. Yesterday, I was round at Mrs Doyles’s, offering a hand (but not after tucking into some of her very nice home made cake!). I’m not going to lie to you, she did seem a bit shocked, when she saw me in her kitchen tucking away. Perhaps I should have warned her I was coming round. But then, the whole reason I broke in in the first place, rather than knock at the door, was to not inconvenience her. I did the only thing I could think of in that situation – run away before she got a good look at me, so all should be well. Anyway, she shouldn’t be in hospital long, apparently the fall didn’t do her too much damage.

To be honest, I don’t think I’ll be helping out in this way again. I mean, the cake was nice, but I cut my arm when I fell into her cabinet, and smashed all her plates. I wouldn’t say it’s her fault I got injured, but I do completely blame her for it.

Anyway, based on how it tasted, here’s the recipe for Mr Doyles’s cake:

100g flour
4 eggs (unfortunately mine were rancid, but this is not recommended)
13g butter
4 Snickers
Salt and pepper to season

Mix the flower, eggs, butter and seasoning into a bowl. Dip the Snickers into the mixture, and eat. Alternatively, just eat the Snickers on their own; as the dip gave me food poisoning.